


helplessly in love

by sungshinelog



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Blink and you'll miss it, Chan is distraught, Lee Minho | Lee Know is Whipped, M/M, Minor sexual harrasment, Protective Minho, barely there, best friends brother, honestly don't even know, it may be cohesive, mostly just Minho's thoughts, older chan, slight angst, this is nonsensical word vomit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:13:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23391523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sungshinelog/pseuds/sungshinelog
Summary: Minho should have seen it coming. The pitter patter of his heart not telling enough, he supposed. Or maybe he was in denial. Because of course he was. How had he, Lee Minho, fallen for his best friend's brother?
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 6
Kudos: 94





	helplessly in love

**Author's Note:**

> I thought of this, this morning and now here we are. I wasn't sure what I had planned for this, but the ending isn't horrible? Eh could have been better I guess. I'm running on two hours of sleep. just some things to consider: Minho's brother is never named (I got lazy and he's not that relevant- except he is). The sexual harassment isn't described, just mentioned, so with that... read as you please.

It started easy, as most crushes do. Minho fell into the fantasies- or rather love delusions- where Bang Chan was the star. He tried never to entertain the idea too long, fearful his brother would come to find out.

Minho was still in high school, Chan a freshly turned college kid. Minho rarely saw him unless his brother was around, the dawning implication that wherever Chan was, his brother was sure to follow. It made it hard to talk to Chan, the older man often immersed in conversations with his brother or wrapped up in his own work. Minho usually lingered in the doorway, allowing himself just a minute to fawn over the boy before his brother noticed him standing there. 

It was easy at first, but like most things, small doses only did so much. Minho found himself wishing for more time, more instances where he could engage with the older, but none came. He was left with a one-sided love that was hard to tame. It made him glum.

“Is Chan coming over?” He asked his brother. Minho was staring at his backside expectantly, the other shrugging.

“Don’t know. He has work.”

“He has a job?” That was new. As far as Minho had known him, the other was strictly dedicated to his studies.

“Gotta pay those student loans somehow.” That was the end of the conversation and Minho was left to wonder just what kind of job Chan had landed. He knew he couldn’t ask his brother directly, that would be prying. His brother would ask questions. He sighed, defeated until he could see Chan again.

The few days he didn't come over, Minho had a lot to do, suddenly. It wasn’t that he spent so much time fussing over Chan- alright maybe he let himself indulge. He was lying to himself, really. He spent those days cleaning his room and actually doing homework. His mother was even surprised, popping her head in when Minho had missed dinner the second day. She almost looked proud, settling a hand on his shoulder to remind him that he was working hard, he deserved a break. But a break meant time to think, to let himself dream, of a blond boy with big round eyes and plush lips and he sunk back into his study guide.

Chan finally appeared Thursday afternoon, smiling at Minho- who all but ran to the door when he had knocked to alert everyone of his arrival. “Heya kid, your brother home?” Minho pouted at the use of the word _ ‘kid’ _ shrinking back as he let the other in. He nodded to the kitchen where his brother was already yelling for Chan. “See you, then.” Minho fell back, yearning for a new opportunity, one where he wasn’t Chan’s best friend’s kid brother. He frowned as he squished himself onto the couch. Romcoms were a must today.

He barely got through the first movie when he fell asleep, completely missing Chan’s departure. So much for eavesdropping. He sulked for a week this time, Chan being busy with the mystery job he was too afraid to ask about. His mother even made him a cake, for all the good things he’d done in the week. It didn’t taste as sweet, though, Chan was still missing in his heart.

  
  
  


Minho thought it was high time he do something more with his life, instead of mindlessly pining over someone he can’t have (or so he told himself). He got dressed and headed out to have a day for one, it was the least he can do. He went to the convenience store on the corner, digging through the snacks and dropping candies into a basket. He pulled open the freezer, snatching up a prepackaged ice cream cone and calling it an end to his sugar rush. He went to the register, paid and went on his merry way. He sat at the park, munching on gummies and licking at the ice cream cone. He felt like a kid again, some of the ice cream dribbling down his chin. He laughed at himself, wiping it off with the back of his hand. “Minho?” Minho’s eyes bulged out as he met Chan’s eyes. The older waved from across the way, coming closer to the panicked boy. Minho scrubbed at his chin and lips, swiping his tongue for good measure. He threw his trash into the plastic bag speedily, wiping his sticky hands on his jeans.

“Hey!” He tried for the cool, sauve facade, throwing one leg over another to seem more nonchalant. The more he thought about it, the more he probably looked like he wanted the world to swallow him whole. Chan was always so pretty, but today, his hair was pushed back under a hat, arms out as he strolled in the late spring warmth. He was gorgeous and Minho could have drooled. But that would have not been a good look for him. 

“Nice to see you.” Minho told him likewise. “How’s your brother?” If only his brother wasn’t the middle man as to why Minho even knew of Chan.

“He’s been good.” He said solemnly. Chan nodded, glancing at his watch. 

“Oh, I gotta run. Can’t be late for work.” He waved one final time before running off, Minho following his movements.  _ Work… had he really said work?  _ Jumping up, Minho was after him in seconds, a chase that he hoped Chan wouldn’t catch onto. The older was walking at a relatively normal pace, glancing behind him only when he needed to cross the street. It was in those moments that Minho almost forgot how to breathe (and hide). It was a short walk before Chan was stepping into a shop, the chime of the door heard even from where Minho stood. He counted to ten before approaching himself, nervously peeking through the glass to see where his hyung had gone. He faltered when the door was pushed open, a bubbly boy regarding him with curiosity.

“Did you want to come in? We’re open.” He said it like the giant sign taped to the window wasn’t enough. He supposed it wasn’t if Minho was acting this strange, enough to have someone notice. 

“I-uh-”

“Were you looking for something in particular? We carry a lot of variety, from western music to our very own kpop… sound like something you’re interested in.” Minho’s mouth continued to gape like a fish until Chan appeared behind the boy.

“You can’t just stand here all day, Jisung. We have work to do.” He tried to see what was keeping his attention, but Minho booked it before he was caught, face flaming as he really,  _ really _ wished the world would swallow him whole.

Fear made him hide, not once coming out no matter how many times he heard the tell tale ring of the doorbell. He refused to meet Chan, it was still unclear if he’d seen him that day and he liked to keep it that way. He’ll rely on the unknown for this one. He hid in a pillow fort he’d built himself over the break, telling himself it would be the last time as he was almost a grown up now. His mother brought him cookies and he tried not to think too much about how that may look to Chan.

His brother gave him a strange look when he entered his room, raising a brow at his kid brother. “Um, what’s up with you?”

“Nothing.” Minho was not going to talk about it. He was not. His brother just shrugged.

“Whatever. I just wanted to see if you wanted to come with me.” Minho perked up.

“Are we getting food?” His brother rolled his eyes.

“What is it with you and food? No, I wanted to buy a new CD. so let’s go.” Minho hoped to God they weren’t going where he thinks they are. 

He did not hope with enough spirit. Chan was looking at them in amusement, or a least it seemed like amusement as the brothers argued over which artist was better.

“Please, just admit once, once! That EXO has a better discography than BTS.” Minho was stubborn, shaking his head at his exasperated brother. “Why must you hate me!” He went to the counter, draping himself over it to whine to his best friend. “Please tell me you’re on my side.” He pleaded with Chan.

“I’m more of a Got7 fan myself.” His brother cried out, something about betrayal, but all Minho could focus on was Chan’s answer. Chan liked Got7. Minho liked Got7. They had a common interest! He wanted to jump on it fast: ask him his bias, favorite song, anything! But his brother was being whiny, mumbling about wanting to go home now, and already paying for some EXO album he’d plucked off the shelf. Minho could only watch as Chan handed them their change, bowing his pleasantries for choosing their store for the purchase. Minho almost cried once they had left the building.

“You’re mean, get me ice cream as payment for your wrongdoings.” His brother demanded, already waltzing to a nearby convenience store. Minho cast one last longing glance at the music store, feeling more dejected for missing a perfectly good chance at talking with Chan than for the fact that he was about to spend the last of his allowance on his brother.

Minho used to think he’d never be in love. Love was silly, made people silly and Minho was far from silly. But there he stood, bucket hat covering his already shaded eyes as he watched the shop in earnest. He hated this feeling, but he just wanted to  _ see  _ Chan. The older had picked up a few extra shifts, meaning less time he spent with Minho- really his brother- and he missed having him around. The stupid bubbly boy from the last time he was there alone was with Chan, cracking jokes that made the older laugh so hard, Minho couldn’t help but smile. Still, he sort of wished he had the courage to do the same, instead of sitting on the curb across the street, acting like he was reading the newspaper with utmost attention. He guessed he failed when he saw the bubbly boy spare him a glance. Minho couldn’t duck fast enough. Worried the boy would point him out, he shot up, running in the opposite direction to avoid confrontation.

When did it get this bad? Wouldn’t he like to know? Rather than trying to solve it, he let himself think about the last time he saw Chan, at his house, hair mused and pencil between his teeth. Minho had bit his lip in interest, a little distracted with the curl of his lips. He was so gone, he almost missed his brother returning from the bathroom. The click sent him reeling, dropping from his position on the couch to the ground like it wasn’t going to cause some great scene. “What are you doing?” Minho closed his eyes to shield himself from embarrassment. It wasn’t working.

“I fell.”

“I can see that.” Well Captain Obvious, why ask? He peeked up at Chan, the boy all smiles. This could count as some sort of win in his book. “Can you act your age now, I thought I had a  _ teenage _ brother, not a baby brother.” Minho pouted.

“I’m a man.” His brother went into hysterics, Chan closely following. Self pity was all Minho had left. “Whatever, I’m going out.” He began putting on his shows, dramatic as he went to open the door.

“That better not be Minho leaving without a goodbye kiss!” His mother called from her room. Chan’s giggles were the only thing that made him feel like he had some dignity left.

  
  
  


At some point, the crush that had blossomed felt a lot like love, which again was silly. How could Minho be in love? He hardly knew Chan (minus the thirty or so random facts he’s collected in the multiple occasions he’s been over). Besides the point, Minho was starting to think he was crazy. What kind of person fell so hard for someone they barely knew? Maybe someone superficial. Minho liked to think he wasn’t superficial. Except he really liked Chan’s muscles and those big brown eyes and Minho should stop before he really is just another reckless boy with reckless feelings.

Chan still worked at the music shop and Minho finally found it in him to walk in one day. Just- right out of the blue. Sure, he had maybe seen an album in stock that he really wanted and even went as far to call to see who would answer the phone- it would tell him all he needed to know. When Chan’s familiar voice carried through, he hung up, dashing out the door in a haste. It was now or never.

It was a lot more anticlimactic than he would have wanted, the shop quiet save for a few lingering customers who hummed to the radio that was playing in the background. The bubbly boy was absent, for a minute only, before he was appearing out from the back, Chan behind him. “Can’t Changbin clean out the back. Why do we have to do it?” He whined, Chan chuckling.

“Oh quit your whining. He said we get to keep anything we like.” The boy smiled devilishly.

“Oh what a perfect choice of words.”

“Jisung! Please don’t do something rash!” Chan shook his head, directing his attention to the customers of the store. When his eyes landed on Minho, he quirked his head. “Oh.” Minho blinked at him. “Minho, hello.” Minho caught his bearings, coughing into his hand like he wasn’t just unabashedly staring.

“Yes, hello. I-” Chan bit his lip to stop the smile and Minho realized just how stupid he sounded. He toned it down. “I was hoping you had an album in stock.” The work question turned on professional Chan, the boy waltzing to the computer with a grace that only retail associates could have. 

“Sure, I can look it up for you.” Minho told him the name of the album he wanted and Chan didn’t even have to type, smiling before bending down to reach for something.

“Thought you would.” He brandished the album, a little startled by the simple fact that Chan just had it there, ready.

“How’d you…”

“You said you were a fan.” Minho could feel his cheeks dusting pink. Chan shouldn’t have. He was sweet, too sweet for this world.

“But- how’d you know I come by?” Chan took a moment to ponder.

“Well… I didn’t.”

“So then why save me a copy?” Chan smiled, an ear to ear grin that made Minho a bit uneasy.

“Because I wanted to. Figured I’d see you at some point to give it to you.”

“You mean- you’d buy it for me?” Minho was just a tad overwhelmed (hell he was super overwhelmed but he was trying his best to hide it).

“Yeah. In the name of music.” He winked and Minho… well Minho called it love. How could someone think of him so dearly, to save him an album? To pay out of their own pocket for it. He so badly wanted to hug Chan.

“Thank you!” He couldn’t help the brightness in his voice and it was apparent to Chan. He seemed to be basking in it.

“Don’t mention it.” Minho would have said something else, he really would have. But someone else was coming up to the counter, ready to pay and Chan looked apologetic. Minho excused himself, going for the door, but not before turning around. He could let himself. Just this once. Chan was waving him off and Minho waved back, just a bit starstruck over the whole thing.

(Minho played that album every night with the idea that Chan had gifted it to him as some sort of love confession.)

Because Minho was still fervently head over heels, he foolishly agreed when his brother asked him for a huge favor. “Chan is coming over in a few for a flash drive. My class ran late, so can you please give him what he needs to do his part of the project.” There were set instructions put into play (“This is the one and only time you’re allowed in my room!” “Yeah, yeah, now tell me what I’m looking for.”) and all Minho was to do now, was wait. Nervously. For the first time, his brother wasn’t the reason Chan was coming over- okay well partially.

Minho tried to pass the time, minutes felt like hours and he wondered if his brother was playing some kind of trick on him. Oh no! Had he been discovered? Not two seconds after the thought, the doorbell rang. He sprinted toward the door, nausea overtaking him at the sight of Chan. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary so he deemed it safe… for now. “Good to see you again.” Alert! Alert! He was being ambushed! 

Okay, he was being dramatic, but Chan was hugging him. Just a quick squeeze before he was smiling at him. “Your brother said he called you?” Oh yeah.

“Oh yeah- he uh. Sorry.” Minho fumbled with the materials on the table, handing them over to a more than eager Chan.

“Ah, thank you so much!” He gave him another quick hug. “I didn’t think I’d be able to pick it up if it weren’t now. You’re a lifesaver!” Minho absolutely does not let that get to his head, fighting the blush that wants to creep in. “Tell your brother thank you for me. I gotta run.” He was out the door before Minho could even agree.

Crazy, he must be crazy. That’s why he can’t stop thinking about the short moment in time when Chan was so close. He could smell his coconut shampoo. He was wearing cologne. Minho was dizzy just replaying the moment. He wanted it to happen again. He wanted more than a hug.

Minho had been kissed by one other person before and that was in grade school. Most people wouldn’t count it. The only reason Minho did, was because the owner of those lips had happened to be his crush of the year, all toothy grins and clammy hands. Back then he was even stuck in ideals of love or what he thought love was. They held hands on the playground; they snuck candies under the jungle gym. It felt new. It felt exciting. One day, a little girl said they weren’t official because real couples kiss. Minho’s ‘boyfriend’ promptly covered Minho’s face with his clammy hands and planted one on him. The little girl screeched, tattling to the teacher and both boys were sent to timeout for their pda.

Minho is fond of the memory, even if they didn’t last. They broke up a week later, the same girl stealing his man from right under his nose. Minho thought he’d care more, but he’d shrugged it off and that may have been the moment he realized it wasn’t love.

Love, for Minho, meant a lot of things. There was the love he had for his family. The love he had for friends- though scarce as they were. And then there was the love he had for Chan. Of course it was different. Because all love is allowed to be different. The love he had for Chan was the one where he wanted to go on dates, hold hands, kiss under the stars. He wanted the cliche every romcom he’d ever watched had to offer. But such musings where all a script and real love never worked the way it did in the movies. He could at least have one wish. He hoped he could at least kiss Chan under the stars.

Summer came by far too quickly and Minho had graduated a week ago. Nothing felt different. He just had a paper to show for it. He sluggishly browsed movies, wondering if he’d ever see Chan again. His brother had told him that Chan was going to enroll in different courses next year. They wouldn’t share any classes.

Sure, Minho was going to the same college as his brother, but it still left room to wonder. Chan was still a year older. Would they ever get to share a class? The answer is yes. Because Minho walked into his literature class and spotted a familiar face. “Chan hyung?” The older boy looked surprised, not in a bad way. He gestured to the seat beside him and Minho happily took it. “You’re in this class too?” It was a beginner class.

“Sort of.” Before he could say anything else, the teacher was barreling in. He seemed distraught and Minho wasn’t the only one giving him questioning glances.

“I apologize for being late. Car troubles.” No one dared ask for further information, but Chan was standing up, going to the front of the class. The teacher visibly calmed at the sight of him, motioning to Chan. “Before we officially start. I’d like to introduce your TA for the semester.”

Chan bowed. “Pleasure to meet you all.” Minho gaped the rest of class.

He caught up to Chan at the end, out of pure shock. “They let you be a TA already?” He was only a sophomore. Chan looked sheepish.

“Mr. Gwan asked for me directly.” Oh. Well, who wouldn’t? Chan must be great to work with. “What about you? This your only class?” Shoot, Minho groaned, scampering away without so much as a goodbye. Chan was important, but getting to his statistics course may just be a bit higher on his priority list today.

“You’re TA-ing for Mr. Gwan?” His brother asked Chan. They were all at a fast food place, Minho having to stick with his brother for a ride. He wasn’t necessarily complaining, if it meant he got to spend time with Chan. “I thought you hated him?” The question has Minho confused.

“I never said I  _ hated _ him. There’s just a lot to dislike.” Minho would have never guessed based on their interaction today. “Plus I couldn’t decline. He kept insisting and I felt bad.” Minho knew Chan was a good person, but if what he was saying was true, he thought Chan was better off just switching to something he liked.

“Sounds desperate.” Chan slapped his arm.

“Don’t say that about a teacher!”

“Why not? I don’t think he’s acting like one.” There was a hidden meaning to his words and Minho wanted in.

“What does that mean?” Chan laughed nervously.

“Your brother doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” The words were hissed through his teeth and it left Minho unsettled. His brother just sighed.

“Forget it. Minho, let’s go.” Minho wished he could say he didn’t want to, but without valid reason, he could only follow his brother out of the restaurant.

“What did you mean back there?” Minho had to know. This was all he was letting himself have. This piece of information. He hoped his brother would give it to him.

“Mr. Gwan is a known pervert. I think he’s hitting on Chan, but Chan refuses to see it.” Minho frowned. Or could it be that Chan actually liked Mr. Gwan back. Whatever the reason, it made Minho’s stomach curl. He hated it.

The following day, he had class with Mr. Gwan again and Minho focused more on his mannerisms than the lecture. He often saw his teacher glancing toward Chan and Minho felt his jealousy spike. For the most part, Chan seemed oblivious to the staring, but it made Minho wonder if he was really getting unwanted attention from their teacher. When class ended, Minho waited for Chan, something in him not letting him leave. His teacher noticed. “Class has been dismissed.” He said, as if he hadn’t already. Minho nodded, seeing Chan staring at him.

“I’m aware. I was waiting for my friend.” Mr. Gwan looked to Chan, almost asking him if it were true with his eyes. Minho could gag. 

“Minho maybe you should-”

“I must speak with him before he leaves. Please shut the door on your way out.” Minho’s teeth grinded. How very unfair for his teacher to dismiss him so cruelly. What if he had a question? Not that he did, but he felt angered at the way the teacher was looking at him. At the way he looked at Chan. Minho stood up, slowly gathering his things like it would help stall. Mr. Gwan coughed and Minho acted innocent. Two could play at that game. “Oh Ms. Lee, how nice to see you.” Dropping the head of the college’s name was sure to make the teacher turn around. He did. Minho never ran so fast. He hauled Chan with him and they escaped through the back door, Minho almost coughing up a lung. When was the last time he’d run this much? Yikes.

“Minho? What was that?” Chan didn’t look as alarmed as his words sounded. If Minho were honest, he looked relieved.

“Chan… my brother told me something last night.” They were well away from the main building, hidden behind the brick wall of the arts buildings. Most students were already in class, and yet, Chan still had it in him to look around. He was scared. “Chan, please tell me… is he bothering you?” Never, does Minho think he’d see Chan cry.

“I- he…” He sobbed, clinging desperately onto the only solid thing in front of him. Minho. “He never touched me! But he was handsy and he would always say these weird things and I laughed it off because he was a teacher, but then-” Minho placed comforting hands on Chan’s back, whispering reassuring words to his hair. “He asked me to be his TA. I declined, of course. I couldn’t stand him. But he kept pursuing it, even went as far as saying he could ruin my career if I didn’t. I felt so helpless.” Minho pulled the boy flush against him, letting the older use him as support. God, he’d never- he never imagined something like this. “I don’t want to be his TA.” He admitted and Minho nodded.

“We can talk to the administrative office, they can help. We can sort this ou-”

“You can’t!” Minho sputtered, leaning away just enough to see fresh tears in Chan’s eyes. “He’ll know it was me that reported him. He’ll ruin me!” Minho shook him, resolutely shaking his head.

“He won’t. This is wrong, Chan hyung. We have to report him.” Chan kept telling him not to. “What if you aren’t the only one?” Chan quieted.

“Do you think- No! He can’t be doing this to other students. They might have it worse!”

“That’s exactly why we must report it! Trust me, I’ll help you.” Chan stared into his eyes, baring the utmost vulnerability that Minho had ever seen.

“I trust you.” 

Chan feared it too much to go himself, so Minho did it for him. Minho relayed the story as Chan had and offices were a mess in a matter of seconds. Calls were made, a few other students were called in, some having already made statements. Chan’s was the last one they needed to make it a legal matter. Chan waited outside and when Minho met him, Mr. Gwan had already beat him to it. “You brat, I know you were the one who ratted me out!” Chan cowered in fear. Minho went feral.

“It wasn’t him!” Their attention went to Minho as he went to stand in front of Chan. He would protect him at any cost.

“You! You’re the loser who wouldn’t leave. I knew you were trouble.” He moved closer, hounding in on Minho like he wanted to bite. Minho held his ground. He was a hair taller than the man. He pushed at him, asking him to do something. They were in front of the main office. Students had crowded around now. If he broke, everyone would see.

“Try me.” Minho bit out. Mr. Gwan knew better, standing down. He kept his glare, his evil on him until he was inside the building. Minho sucked in a breath. God, he was brave when it came to protecting Chan’s honor. He circled back to ask Chan if he was okay, but Chan was already stumbling into his arms.

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to.” Chan hiccuped, clearly crying again. Minho just let him, holding him tightly. When Chan pulled away, he was chuckling.

“I guess you are a man.” He teased, lightly swatting at Minho’s chest. Minho caught his arm.

“For you, always.” Chan blushed, refusing to meet his eyes. Minho had no idea where this confidence was coming from, but he sure loved the red on the apples of Chan’s cheeks.

(It took four more days for Minho to confess and two after that for Chan to accept. He wasn’t so helpless, it seemed.)

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, if you read this mess *applause* *here's a cookie for good measure*


End file.
